While there are many things you can do to relieve stress, one aspect that you may not have considered is how creating a mindset of mindfulness may help to navigate the difficulties that all of us inevitably encounter along the way.Eharmony partnered with Stop, Breathe & […] Read more Dear Sara: After a year of going on dozens of so-so dates, I finally met a guy I really liked.We never see it in the media because nobody accepts the idea that it could happen and so like an oroborous with an eating disorder, the cycle perpetuates itself.Amazingly enough in the real world, models variable and influenced by a ginormous number of factors including personal preferences, cultural upbringing, social class, even ecology.Whenever we see someone who isn’t conventionally attractive dating somebody who is more attractive we often dismiss the relationship as somehow invalid; clearly he has money, or a high-status job or some other external quality that the more attractive partner desires enough that she is willing to put up with having to toss the cave troll a handy every now and then.It’s impossible – or so the assumptions go – that perhaps she’s legitimately attracted to him, that attractiveness and desire are about more than just the accepted definitions of good looks.These addictions are experienced by the entire breadth of society, from the […] Read more Complacency is a continuous struggle that we all have to fight.
It’s a self-reinforcing story; we don’t accept the idea that someone who looks like Lena Dunham could score with a guy who looks like Patrick Wilson because we never see it in the media.
One of the more infamous moments was an episode where Lena Dunham’s character Hannah hooks up with an attractive, older doctor played by Patrick Wilson for a weekend-long sex-spree. The Internet lost its collective shit over the idea that someone who looked like Lena Dunham could stand a chance of getting within such a thing is tantamount to sacrilege.
Of course, everyone on the Internet took this in without even blinking, accepting that people are complex and varied in their desires and understanding that attraction is a complicated beast. To judge by the collective outrage over the episode, you would’ve thought that Dunham had murdered Ned Stark while dressed as Hitler and simultaneously shooting kittens out of a cannon that was also on fire.
The archetypal good-looking modern man, for example, is depicted as having a long, lean swimmer’s build and lacking nearly frame was the ideal; body weight was often a class-marker, as the indolent upper class was able to eat richer foods, while the peasants toiled at manual labor (and, ironically, ate a more nutritionally sound diet).
Humans as a rule have a tendency to assume that society is the default paradigm, universally applicable to all cultures and people; Western society holds typically Caucasian features to be the highest standard of beauty, for example, and we have the media hegemony to enforce our beliefs on other cultures through sheer exposure. No matter how much the tabloids may try to convince me that Kim Kardashian is a stunning vision, I wouldn’t fuck her with a borrowed dick and Lexi Belle doing the pushing.
(credit: Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com)" src=" width="333" height="500" srcset=" sizes="(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px" / Now, late to the party as I may be, I have to say that this does bring up the ever-popular topic of whether it’s possible to date someone who is “out of your league”.